Advice to My Future Daughter  

I don’t have any plans on having children anytime soon.  To be honest, I’m not even ready for a romantic relationship, nor do I envision myself ever being in such an arrangement ! But I often wonder about the future, contemplating on how things will turn out in 2035. Since childhood, I’ve dreamt about achieving super-saiyan mode by that year. Although, realistically speaking, I’d probably have to settle for a stable 9-5 office job.

There’s a higher chance I’ll remain a confirmed bachelor, as I enjoy my freedom and individuality with no incentive to relinquish either. The chances that I’ll invite someone to live with me in my fortress of solitude.

But who knows, maybe I’ll be enticed by a beautiful girl and have a couple of children.  If I do procreate like other members of my species, I imagine having one of each gender, a son and a daughter, similarly to my own parents.

Although I am currently childless., I am well aware that raising a daughter is different, and perhaps more challenging, than raising a son.  A girl’s world is drastically different from her male counterpart.  The pressure pushed on girls is something boys would never been able to relate to (myself included).

Fast forward to the year 2035.  The concept of the nation-state has been eradicated in favor of the New World Order, a dystopian society dictated by super-intelligent robots and antropomorphized Apple products…..
OK Fine!  Maybe that scenario is less likely to happen. Most likely, I’ll be living a quiet, yet content life with my own family.  I’ll be in my early 40’s.  Graying but hopefully not balding! My children will be approaching their teenage years and like all teenagers, they will be searching for their own identities.   The teenage years are a difficult time for everyone, and definitely more challenging for girls.  Here are some bits of advice I would give to my daughter in no particular order of importance.

The Mind
1) Our ability to reason separates us from the animals.  Always utilize your critical thinking skills in every situation
2) There is no such thing as useless knowledge.  The more you know, the further you will go.
3) Always find ways to enhance your reasoning skills.    Do Sudoku or play Chess regularly.  Believe me, it will pay off in the end.
4) Jog everyday and eat a healthy diet.  Your brain will thank you

Family Life
5) Loyality to family is important.
6) That being said, if a family member is doing something wrong or harmful, it is your responsibility to call them on it
7) If either your mother or I tell you to do something you don’t want, don’t just disobey us.  Formulate a rational argument against our request and we’ll consider it.
8) Both your mother and I are open-minded people.  You can come to us for anything, even if you are in trouble or are about to do something we may disapprove of.

Formulating Your Own Identity
9) We traditionally identify ourselves with either our ethnicity/nationality or our careers.  However, such methods of identification are completely arbitrary.  In reality, identity is fluid.  We are not the same people we are ten years ago…nor will we be the same in another 10 years.
10) Maintain your individuality.  You solely define who you are.  Never give in to peer pressure.
11) Some people think one’s purpose in life is pre-programmed within us by a deity.  However, I personally believe its up to the individual to determine his or her purpose.  If you want to give your own life meaning, experience the world.  Travel.  Read.  Network with people.  Volunteer and give back to society.  Be as productive as possible.

The Birds and the Bees
Your mother is going to handle the bulk of this topic for obvious reasons.  However, here are a few bits of advice I have for you
12) If there is such a thing as sacred, human sexuality falls under that category.  I can’t think of anything more beautiful than the physical oneness experienced by two people.  Its intoxicating and invigorating.  However, Sexuality is not something to be taken lightly.
13) I personally think notions of “sex after marriage” is outdated and unrealistic.  However, I strongly advice you on waiting until your early twenties before engaging in sex.  As a teenager, you wouldn’t be able to handle the emotional baggage associated with sexual intercourse.
14) Maintain standards for yourself. Something so intrinsically beautiful should be done with someone whom you have a strong passionate love for.
15) Its not common for a parent to advice safe sex, however, this is the real world.  Young people should have access to information in order to protect themselves.  You are young and you don’t want to do anything that could negatively affect the rest of your life.  So be safe.
16) Disregards words like “slut” and “prud”.  A person’s sexuality is his/her own business and is nothing to be ashamed of.

Surviving in a Boys World 
Even in the 21st century, there are girls are held to a different standard than boys. But you don’t have to be a second-class citizen in a semi-patriarchal world.
16) Don’t be afraid of words like “bossy”. In fact, take pride in them!
17) The world needs more girls in STEM fields.  The number of female computer programmers has decreased!  My advice is, if you’re good at mathematics and you love technology, nothing should prevent you from pursuing engineering.

Surviving in a Girls World
18) When drama happens within your circle of female friends, dissociate from it completely.  Do not get involved
19) Avoid gossip at all times.  People’s personal lives are none of your business!
20) If you feel that one of your own friends is talking behind your back, distance yourself from her.           Who needs friends like that?

Conquering Anxiety
If you’re my child, you have a 50% of having high levels of anxiety.  Here are some ways to avoid panic attacks.

21) Meditate.  Clear your mind every day.22) Don’t worry about things which you have no control over. Whatever happens, happens.  Just keep moving forward.

23) Be active in your community.  Believe me, engaging in community  activities will distract you from your own inner emotions.
24) Don’t be insecure around other people.  EVERY human being has his/ her own insecurities.  Don’t think of yourself as pathetic.
25) Everyone has flaws.  Don’t dwell on them.  Instead, focus on enhancing your positive attributes.
My biggest advice is know that I will always love you, unconditionally.  Do well in life, sweetheart 🙂
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s