The Hookup Culture

Religious clerics and conservative media pundits have warned us of this impending social trend. The ‘Hookup Culture’ has devoured an entire generation! In college campuses across the globe, students attend their lectures and study groups during the day. Yet, when the sun sets, these young minds are transformed into depraved hedonists, lurking through the dorm halls for that electrifying orgasm! Courtships and emotional commitments be damned! We drink and be merry for we know not what tomorrow brings.

And can you blame those impressionable co-eds. After all, their worldviews have been shaped by the media. And look at the filth on TV. Scantily-clad young women. Provocative dialogues. Explicit sex-charged music videos. Whatever happened to those good ol’ days, when the only programs on TV were ‘family-friendly’ shows like The Cosby Show and 7th Heaven and all those other nauseatingly-sanctimonious after-schools specials? Whatever happened to those poorly contrived episodes of Full House and Saved by The Bell pontificating regressive messages? I miss the 1980’s cringefest!

Catholic apologist Jason Evert is one of the few gallant crusaders vigorously combating this moral crisis by holding talks with high-school students and youth groups about the virtues of ‘chastity’, while unhesitatingly spouting bigoted (and often refutable) diatribes against homosexuals!

Conservative commentators like Bill O’Reilly and Pat Buchanan speak of this ‘cultural war’ in which the godly must take up arms against the evil liberals and their diabolical plans of promoting promiscuity and ‘alternative lifestyles’!

Indeed this country is changing. Donald Trump is right! We must make America great again! We must take our country back!!!!

Of course, we should not give any credence to that study from San Diego State University revealing that ‘millennials’ (the most popular term the media uses to designated twenty-somethings) are astonishing less promiscuous than previous generations.

Those conclusions shouldn’t be a surprise. After all, where is our ‘Summer of Love’? What’s the ‘millennial’ equivalent of Woodstock? Our Baby-Boomer predecessors rebelled against the ‘Leave-it-to-Beaver’ social norms of post-WWII America by embracing free love. In contrast, growing up in an already sexually-liberated society, we, Millennial, didn’t have any prudish attitudes to counteract.

Instead, we chose an alternative route by repudiating the Gen X values of Gordon Gekko and becoming minimalist, inner-city-dwelling, Tumblr-blogging hipsters!  Oooh…look how Edgy we are!


It shouldn’t be news to anyone that Millennials are less promiscuous. We don’t have time for sex. We’re too busy playing Pokemon Go! Where’s the fun in achieving a two-minute orgasm when you can invest six hours galloping around the city, searching for the elusive Ditto?!

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Yes, we Millennials may be less promiscuous than the previous generations. However, most of us are far from being reclusive hikikimoris. Twenty-something year olds do have sex. However, because it lacks the rebellious flair from which our parents indulged in a sexually-repressed culture, sex just doesn’t have that same countercultural appeal. Sex is a biological imperative and we, as a species, aren’t going to give up sex anytime soon. However, for our generation, sex is less of a priority.




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