Some might say I’m too obsessed with sex (which is remarkable considering my lack of a sex life). Maybe this post is a feeble attempt to comfort myself for never having experienced the joys of ‘taking the roast out of the oven’. However, here are a few reasons why I think Sex is Overrated
1) Genital Injustice!
To be honest, I find the sight of both form of genetilia to be grosteque. However, it seems the female vagina has been carefully crafted . It’s as if God took his time in designing the female organ. Men, unfortunately have been given the short end of the stick! In the case of the male penis, it seems God’s secretary alerted Him, reminding that the Adam was waiting in the Garden of Eden for something of his own. The dialogue went something like this:
God’s Secretary: Yo Big Guy, We need something for the guys to poke with! We’re due for push in one minute too!
God: Oh fuck!!!
*God takes a lump of clay, rolls it ups and hands it over to the secretary*
God: Here! This should do!
God’s Secretary shrugs his shoulders and says: “Eh, better than nothing”
Furthermore, women have the privilege of maintaining state of arousal a secret. However, if you want to know if a man is arouses, just look at his pants!
Furthermore, a man’s testicles are very sensitive. Try punching a guy in the gonads and see his reaction. Yet when it comes to vaginas, those things can take a punch. People always say “grow a pair” to encourage strength and determination. However, I think the accurate phrase is “grow a pussy!”
This is injustice! I call for a strike! Strike of the gonads!
2) It’s so wet and messy
I have further complaints about sex I wish to submit to God. Maybe this is why I’m borderline anti-religious. The ejaculation of fluids by the male (and sometimes the female…depending..:/) can make things filthy in the bedroom. Why couldn’t God made sex electronic, which then transmits to the brain to induce pleasure. It would be more conviniant not to take a shower every time!
3) Orgasm Injustice!
Studies have shown that the average male reaches orgasm within a duration of two minutes. However, the average females needs around 20 mins in order to reach orgasm!
This is another case of gender inequality! I call for a mass protest! We shall form a union and call it SFMA (Sexuality Frustrated Males Anonymous) . We shall boycott houses of worship! Submit angry prayers to heaven and demand full sexual justice!
4) A Marketing Gimmick
Ok, maybe I should leave God alone. He’s probably busy enough with plagues and punishing homosexuals. Let’s look at society’s fucked up views on sex. So many fucking double standards!
Sex has turned into a marketing gimmick. Every commercial, every form of advertisement has a sexual element. After all, sex sells!
But in the process, sex has now because a commodity. A property of corporate American and we, the public, are told what we should be aroused by rather than following our natural instincts. We are subliminally told only a women who is tall and lean, with C-cup breasts, a small button nose and heart-shaped lips can be considered beautiful. Similar, only a man who is tall and buff, with a large defined chin, is considered to be desirable.
In reality, the standards of sexual attraction are entirely subjective. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, not a Victoria Secret catalog.
5) Hypocritical Standards
Sex is constantly marketed to the masses. Yet we are told that sex is dirty and disgusting and should not be discussed in front of children (even if they ask “where do babies come from”)! If a man is known to be sexually promiscuous, he is a ‘player’. Yet if a woman has many sexual partners, she is a ‘whore’. And unfortunately, this phenomenon is justified by the absurd analogy that a key that opens many locks is a master key yet a lock that is opened by all keys is considered broken.
No one should be judged by their sexual lifestyle! It’s nobody’s business! Men and Women should be able to engage in sex or refrain from it without any negative social consequences